I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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