i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
