My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
