and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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