On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
