hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
