my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
