I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
