I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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