why didn't you poke me back
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
