Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
