It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
