Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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