lets start a swedish sibling band together
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
