So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
