wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
