Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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