I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
