remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
His hands were made for my vagina.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
