8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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