I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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