It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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