you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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