he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
