i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
