Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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