Dual....:-)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
