she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
