you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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