what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Tornado booty call.. dedication
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
