lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
