Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize