1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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