YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
