i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
