So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
