so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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