By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
