im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
