Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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