All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
