I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i think i scared a bird with my dick
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
