When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
