I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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