just tell him i said nine months
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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