Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
