Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
