i don't like sucking hair
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
