is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
