Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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