then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
